The 10 ‘FFS’ parenting moments to test the patience

Here is our 10 ‘for fuck sake’ moments that will test the patience of any new parent.  How many can you relate to?

1. The ‘just about to walk out the door’ poo – Its a sure thing its gone right up their back too. 

2. The ‘trio’ – The simultaneous poo, sick and joyful little jet spray of pee to finish you off.  Take that!

3. The obligatory vomit – Fresh (and sometimes ironed) clothes = baby being sick on you (or perhaps poo if you are really lucky).


4. The twitch of impending doom – The baby starts to wake and you are yet to make the bottle.  Run for your life!

5. The unnecessary nappy change – Everyone loves a nappy being filled just after it has been changed – right?  Our record is 4 times and our nappy costs are through-the-roof.

6. The pee-break – Baby is sleeping so time for a moments peace on the loo and ‘wahhhhh’.  Own up – what’s your quickest pee to date?

7. The charming postman – Baby has been ratty all morning and you’ve just got him to sleep.  Guess what happens next?


8. Cold tea – How many times have you made fresh tea and forgotten about it?  I draw the line at zapping tea for the third time.

9. The phone – How quickly can you make it down the stairs before the persistent salesperson wakes the baby?

10. Bloggers worst nightmare – Did the baby just wake up as you switched on your laptop?  Haha – nice try.

If you are an expecting parent, then I wish you all the luck in the world.  You are going to need it, and of course, some patience *chuckles like the Devil*.

These days I just grimace and hope that I won’t be swearing under my breath for the rest of my days.

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44 thoughts on “The 10 ‘FFS’ parenting moments to test the patience

  1. I’m happy to say most of these are history for me now *she says smugly*. The bad news is that those FFS moments are just replaced by something new as the kids get older ……. like the trail of Lego bricks down the stairs or trying to get them out of bed for school.. It all changes when they leave home right? 😋


  2. Oh god, yes to all of these, Mine’s a bit older now, but my current ‘FFS’ moment is when he’s so desperate to feed, screaming, tugging at my top, and the moment he’s latched on, he’s straight off again. Arrgh. Also tidying up the house every day, only to find it’s in the exact same state the next morning. What happens? #PicknMix

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Definitely had a FFS morning… Been up since 5! It’s interesting thinking back to the earlier stages FFS moments, and how they change! Not so many involving sick or poo these days but sleep disturbance, check. Refusal to eat, check. Failure to allow any mummy me time, check check check! X MMT

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yes, yes & yes. I’m nodding away here – they are all true. The going out the door poo is a real phenomenon. As is the unnecessary nappy change lol Great post x


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